Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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