bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
