So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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