The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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