some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
