looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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