he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
