her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm just crazy horny about you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
