Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
