Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
