the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
