I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
