I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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