is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
