Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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