brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
