How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
