3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
