Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
