Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
