you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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