I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
