absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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