please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
