i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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