Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Of course I have a pirate flag
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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