I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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