good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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