Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i permit you to call me
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
