I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
