I hope mine doesn't look like that
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
