Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize