this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
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I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
