No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
