I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
