guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
