I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
