Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
