Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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