So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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