Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
