my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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