I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
