are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
May the power of my ass compel you!!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
