just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
