i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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