That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize