nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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