I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
