Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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