OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
