If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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