just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
