if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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