I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
