So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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