eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
