I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
