69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
