Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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