Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
