I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I love you. Go after that dick
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
